It's Okay If You Didn't Bring Down Any Fascist Regimes Today

None of us did.

Photo by Marcin Sajur on Unsplash

Odds are, when you read this, we’ll still be living under a fascist regime.

The vast majority of us don’t support anything that’s going on. We despise it. We talk and talk. We analyze. We contextualize. We put words together. We resist.

The bad things happen anyway.

It took millions of armed soldiers from all over the world to bring down Hitler. And then there’s you. With your phone. Up against flying killbots.

Feeling a little outmatched?

It weighs on you. The futility. Then there’s the judgment. Every day, you hear about your complicity in a broken system. You watch your supposed failures trotted out, over and over. You were supposed to vote. You weren’t supposed to vote. You were supposed to convince your dad to break blue. You were supposed to protest more. You were supposed to call your representatives more. You were supposed to help organize a general strike, even though you can’t afford a week without pay. You were supposed to go out there and get murdered by goons, even if you’re trying to raise a family. You were supposed to be a martyr for your cause, or an executioner. Whatever you did, it wasn’t enough, and it’s your fault.

When you point out how bad things are, someone rolls their eyes and tells you things have always been bad. But what if you already knew that? Does that mean you shouldn’t say anything? Should you just… do what, exactly?

They tell you to change the system, but they don’t say how.

That’s because they don’t know.

They want you to figure out how to change the system, but that’s just it. Nobody knows how to change the system without risking everything they’ve got. And that’s where we are now. If we want to change the system, we have to risk everything. At the very least, we need millions of people willing to give up more than a few brunches. We need millions of people willing to risk a few nights in jail, a few bruises, a few broken bones. But I’m not willing to risk that, for several reasons. And… look around. How many people do you see willing to risk everything, and why would you risk everything if you’re just going to wind up in the news for a couple of weeks, and maybe you get turned into a meme, and nothing changes?

And if you protest the wrong thing, at the wrong time…

Anyway, I’ve got a confession to make.

Today, I didn’t bring down any fascist regimes. I didn’t stop any big oil companies from destroying the planet. I didn’t rescue anyone from poverty, war, or genocide. I didn’t bust any billionaire pedophile rings.

I didn’t stop any bad guys from doing anything.

I just lived.

It’s okay to just live. Most days, you’re just living. You’re just trying to survive. Sometimes, you put words together to try and make a difference. Sometimes the words help. Sometimes, they don’t.

For most of my adult life, I worked in education. There were many, many days when it felt like a complete wash. I left, and that feeling didn’t magically go away. Those days happen regardless of what you’re doing.

Sometimes, the most you can do is make life suck a little less for someone else. You can’t save them. You can just give them one more day. You can help them along. We underestimate how much that matters.

It’s important to try. It’s important to give a shit. In the end, you have to remember something. You’re just one person crawling through history. You have limits, and you’re surrounded by a lot of people who aren’t going to take up your cause, whatever that is. You can’t make them care. You don’t get to decide how much your actions matter. You don’t get to decide how important you are. Sometimes, you just have to focus on living, even if you feel like you haven’t done anything to deserve any sense of peace or comfort at all.

So when you feel like that, maybe it helps to remember. You can’t bring down fascist regimes by yourself. You can’t stop wars with your breath. You’re one person, with limits, and one life to give. Sometimes, the only point is to let someone else know that they’re not the only person angry about something, they’re not the only person struggling, they’re not the only person trying.

It’s okay if you didn’t bring down any fascist regimes today.

None of us did.