20 Comments
User's avatar
Cameron Little's avatar

Amazing article. For every chud I have passed by in the metal community, there are many more men who have been positive models of masculinity and those who are unafraid of their femininity as well. These types of examples have kept me grounded as I navigated my own gender and came to a place where my rage was directed and controlled at the things that were actually harming me, not the faux enemies that those mouth-breathing gunthers of the internet wanted me to have.

Jessica's avatar

Excellent, and exactly as it should be! I have trauma and lots of anger, but learning where to channel it makes a big difference.

Giovanni Acquaviva's avatar

Great article, thanks! There's so much more to metal music than what the general public is usually exposed to. There's growth, poetry, rage, vulnerability, radical inclusion, self-irony, a landscape of human emotions and ways to channel them healthily (not always, of course...!). In comparison, those "alpha males" have such a narrow perspective on human relations, just antagonism, grudge and abuse of power.

Jessica's avatar

I agree 100 percent. Metal is some of the most layered music out there.

Joe's avatar

Andrew Taters and the Alfalfa Males sounds exactly like the kinda weird mock punk band I would’ve been into many years ago.

Jessica's avatar

Alfalfa males, I dig it. :)

Alexander Semenyuk's avatar

Brilliant article. Weak and lost men follow them, and don’t realize that it makes them more lost, and more weak in every aspect.

Perfect description here;

“So men learn to see each other as competition instead of companions. They learn they must compete with each other for money, for sex, for attention, for value, for dominance. They learn to avoid their feelings, to push them down, and to project superficial charm and confidence all the time. That’s what they learn. No wonder they’re so lonely, so angry, so miserable. That’s exactly how the manosphere influencers want them to stay.”

Have seen this so many times!

Jessica's avatar

And we can do so much better!

Alexander Semenyuk's avatar

100%!

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Turns out rage isn’t the problem… it’s where you aim it. You can either scream into a mic and make something real, or scream at women and sell a subscription.

One builds art. The other builds a customer base.

Jessica's avatar

Well said!

Robot Bender's avatar

As an old man, those kind of "men" anger and disgust me. Too many people need someone to hate and look down on. I would much rather be around a smart, capable woman than any of those idiots.

Jessica's avatar

Thank you! These types spend a lot of their time punching down on other men as well. It's such a vicious way to be.

Andrew McIntosh's avatar

Great article. There are so many alternative positive models of masculinity and masculine traits but for whatever reason they have been ignored and subverted. In fact the Protector of Women is one of the oldest masculine archetypes and was exemplified by American role models like John Wayne up until the 70s.

Jessica's avatar

No kidding. These incel-coded brands of masculinity are such caricatures, and they align with the most predatory models of capitalism. It's no surprise many of these manosphere influencers subscribe to both.

Tom Hirons's avatar

Love this. Thank you.

Joe's avatar

Metal has long been low-key one of the most progressive spaces, which is why it killed me to watch the scene in Florida—which was actually a really dope scene—get so flooded with MAGA goons, even if that’s to be expected in Florida.

Jack WAUGH's avatar

No critique of your piece; I think you have valid points about the pattern of exploitation and about blame misdirected on women who accomplish.

But I'm wondering why so many of us English-speakers link things we like to one sex or the other, even if both sexes can be good at it. What is the feminine counterpart of "virtual"?

GungeonxGod's avatar

No hate to the author, or the person this is about, I love the message! but I feel like this might be missing what I belive draws boys to figures like Tater Tot. This isn't to let them off the hook, but I think a lot of them see the increasingly bleek hellscape of latestage capitalism they're about to make their way into or are currently trying to exist in, and they're seeking practical answers of how to navigate that. Particularly in a way that isn't soul crushing. [Ironically they crush their soul in an entirely different way, but try telling them that. 🤦‍♂️] Gutteral screams / whatever music they might like, might provide a bit of emotional release, but it doesn't exactly help you in a practical, tangible way outside of that [as important as emotional release can be] I think like everyone they want to feel safe. They want to have control. They don't want to be suffering and broke. They don't want to be homless or living with their parents. They probably don't want to be alone [which the last two can definitely make much more likely] Ironically for how dumb and horrible everything about him is, most of them who try to be like him will probably only get brief emotional catharsis [while he talks about how them being alone is all women's fault] and later pain [when everyone but their equily horrible friends hate them] from listening to him. But they'll listen for answers on how to not get fucked by the world. Which are real, understandable fears as everything just gets less attainable, and all the answers society gives them just lead them farther from the real answers, like frinds, other people, and the love that's in themselves that figures like this tell them will make them weak. I can't say for sure, I think a lot of them are also just ignorant, sadistic, creeps. That's a thing too. But I feel like with the way they follow him, they're seeking more then just an inspirational story. I think they want help.

John Pienta's avatar

The flavors of rebellion are delightful. We are not allowed to feel many things, sadness, grief, fear, joy, peace, and certainly not rage. We are allowed one emotion. Hunger.

Hunger in all its variations, hunger for a better job, more money, a cooler thing, a sexier someone, several someones, in fact, younger someones, we are allowed thirst, but only for the thirst trap. We must be starving, on the grind set. Never fulfilled.

After all, who among us can imagine Elon saying "ah a trillion dollars, finally I have enough" Or Trump, finally having enough sycophantic praise, enough feeble worshippers at his feet, or any of them to finally have the one "conquest", in whatever form they lust after...

No, they can know only hunger, and they must make us serve them, and also be like them, and when we outlive our usefulness we starve by the wayside. Out of their way.

Here, you provide an answer. Thank you.